I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
