Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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