As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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