**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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