1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
