did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
