If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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