I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
