Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How external is "for external use only"?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
