dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's shark week go big or go home
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
