I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
