I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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