i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
