I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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