Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize