New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
