What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
