What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
