grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize