I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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