I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
