Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize