I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
