we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
