Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They took my balls.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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