I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
