just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm passing your future prison.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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