I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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