Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
