went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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