We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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