hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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