Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
