You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
