dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
