My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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