"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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