stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
