I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
