We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
