Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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