my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
