Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
