we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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