I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
