The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize