drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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