So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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