For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
