I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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