My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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