Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
