I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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