24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dicks are not precious.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize