I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
