She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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