You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
