If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
