Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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