Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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