so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
