this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
