I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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