Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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