I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Randomize
