apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
