Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Two words: nipple clamps
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