Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
