would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
