I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
