Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
