does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
